Why were so many of you present this week? We have a million other things we could be doing, typically ARE doing....We do the things and invest time when we think it will improve our lives or make us feel better..either for this moment or for a long term. From watching our favorite show, marry that guy, buying that latte, work out or call a friend for advice, take a class, go to a movie....you're here in bible study. That speaks to the fact that we know inherently that going to Him makes me better. As women we are in CONSTANT pursuit to improve ourselves and our lives... it is so exhausting!
For me, This pursuit of improving myself would include getting rid of discomfort and trying to get comfortable. Pain out, comfort in. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be rid of pain or discomfort unless it drives me into a place of bondage..like control or fear, anxiety, obsessiveness, insecurity or medicating or drinking.
Let me show you what I mean:
If I look at the most painful times in my life, the most hurtful early moments, I will almost always find VOW of self protection right next to it in my memory.
Vow: ( def: a set of promises committing oneself to a prescribed role, calling or course of action.)
It's sort of a "hands off" area...a "don't even be messin with me" place.
I had to learn to give The Lord Jesus permission to mess in my vows. I realized I was believing in Jesus but not giving Him access or control of my deepest personal life in these areas. (Not submitting to His leadership). When I release that tight control and open my fist and trust that I have found the key to living in the URG, (the unforced rhythms of grace Jesus tells me about in Matthew 11) more on that lovely place later.
Here are some examples of vows I made from pain in my own life:
I grew up w a dad that had an infidelity issue so severe that at 13 I went to my mom and begged her to take control of her life and ours and leave him.
- VOW : "No man will ever cheat on me! Betrayal is the worst thing that can happen to me in my life!" I will look perfect.
- RESULT : BAM ! Eating and Exercise Disorder
- VOW: "I will be aware and on alert to the life of my man and watch for any signs of possible temptation"
- RESULT: BAM! (insecurity, jealousy, hyper sensitivity....breakdown in intimacy in my marriage) hmmm how could he possibly feel defensive?
- VOW: "I will raise sons that never have this issue in their lives".
- RESULT: BAM !(Parenting my two boys from a place of love but fear is out in front and hyper vigilance in the sexual area...(this created brokenness in my boys due to shame and guilt and feelings of not good enough).
Just that one area of vows affected me and my family big time! I can go two ways with a trauma: the enemy's way..(.make a vow to self protect) or God's way...process it with Him and let Him help me through it in a way that will actually end in deeper character and blessing.
Let's look at what God had to do in me to untangle the mess of my vow and help me to healing and wholeness.
Key #1: I began to obey Him and follow Him into the quiet place, He showed me where my desire to protect myself and my family was actually damaging me and them and creating the very thing I was trying to avoid. Disconnect and pain and loss of intimacy. As I began to bring Him the truth of the daily stuff I was dealing with, He showed me I was in deep gripping fear. Weird thing though, I was flat out blind to this fact. I have journals and journals full of me just pouring out my heart to Him in total honesty about all of the above...one issue one day at a time.
LIFE IN CHRIST IS NOT A SPRINT, ITS A MARATHON.
He built trust in me by renewing my mind just like it says in: Romans 12:2 (NLT)
" Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."
Key #2 -A vow must be unearthed, understood, rejected and replaced with the love and leadership of Jesus. This takes getting quiet and listening and a "poor in spirit" attitude.
In my quiet w Him I began to see Him as the solution to my stuff and to slowly let go of my grip and my vow. I need the quiet place with Him whether I think I do or not. And especially when I think I'm fine and "I got this". I have learned that my heart and emotional responses to hurt leave me vulnerable to the enemy and to making more vows of self protection.
Key #3 -In that quiet place He is teaching me a greater trust in him and His ability to manage my life and circumstances brilliantly. Even my own messes and trouble He can turn into a door of hope. The great exchange! Let me show you. Do you want to see?
Hosea 2:14. "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. 15 There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt".(represents bondage)
This verse told me he would "lead me to a wilderness place" a lonely place an abandoned place. ....maybe even an uncomfortable place where I'm not in control. Sometimes the quiet can be daunting.
"And speak tenderly to me there". I want to hear Him speak to me about my life. It's my greatest joy when He does! HOPE results!
"There I will give her back her vineyards"...what has been taken from me or even given away by me in my ignorance...He will fight for me!
"A door of hope". He tells me.. in guess where? HEBREWS!
Hebrews 6:19 "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
Isaiah 58:12 "He is called the Repairer of Broken Walls."*Ps 3:3 "the lifter of my head"
"And make the Valley of Achor a door of hope!!! " (The Valley of Achor was a place of defeat for the people of God ...a place literally translated "trouble") .A valley of trouble into a door of hope.
How can my trouble and pain become a door of hope?
At the very most I thought I could maybe escape the pain, somehow....manage it, medicate it, fix it up enough to where it won't show, control it so it won't destroy me or mine. Or maybe you're past the hoping it won't show point. You've already blown it so bad you're thinking no one and nothing can fix this! YOU ARE WRONG!
Many of my dearest friends and family in Bible Study have been in this place "the valley of trouble" and can stand here in front of you because their healing is so complete and tell you of how He came rushing in when they surrendered and He literally redeemed the unredeemable. Story after story. Sista after sista.
That's why we are here and cooking for you and sharing our guts with you! We have nothing to gain, no paycheck or write up in a magazine. ... Just the pure joy of seeing Him work in the lives of people we love and care deeply for. He did it for us and we know He will do it for you too. He is real and He wins! When we truly open up those closed doors to Him and let Him into our Vow places. What are your vows? Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal them to you. They are usually connected to our strife and our anxiety.
As I was writing this message last week, right at this point, I was weeping because "I surrender" was playing in the background..."Like a rushing wind, Lord have your way in me, like a mighty storm stir within my soul, Lord have your way have your way in me!"
Let's take a moment right now and pray together, the words of this song. It's not weird it's prayer:
"I surrender, like a rushing wind Lord have your way in me, like a mighty storm stir within my soul, Lord, have your way in me "
My soul needs an anchor. When I feel stress or trouble or I'm in my valley of Achor, my soul (mind, will and emotions) starts to rev up and try to find solutions and answers and ways to elf protect or to protect others. I go into overdrive....ratchet it up into a higher gear. But the anchor of Hope talked about in this verse grounds me. Settles me. Calls me to "come away to a quiet place" and let Him whisper to me there to "turn my valley of trouble into to a door of hope" through surrender to Him. The Holy Spirit is brilliant!
Look at what Jesus says about Himself under the caption of JESUS THE GOOD SHEPHERD
John 10:9"I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"
Jesus is the door of HOPE...the anchor for my soul!
LORD JESUS TURN OUR VALLEY OF TROUBLE INTO A DOOR OF HOPE!
Let's pray
You are the door Jesus and Hope is the anchor for my soul. You say You stand at the door and knock. I will let you in so you can set my lives in a firm and secure place. I want to loosen my grip on my vows of self protection and let you take them and replace them with your hope, an anchor for my soul, firm and secure.
Thank you Jesus that you're willing to make this great exchange.!
See you next week my Sistahs!
Keely
Keely
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