He hears my cry

Last week I shared with you that in this current season of my life The Lord has called me to be like

the dove that brought Noah the olive branch. This olive branch was literal proof of new life and hope for a new way. While spending time with The Lord this last week He led me to a verse that really touched my heart and fueled this new hope.

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. 

I just love the thought that The Lord is not only listening to me but leaning in to hear me when I call out to Him. He listens like He is waiting for me to speak to Him...wanting me to talk to Him.

I feel so filled with gratitude by the compassion and love this verse incites in me that I must respond. I want to love Him back and listen to Him. Funny, but as I look further into Psalm 116, King David felt the same.  Look at verse 12 

"What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?" And, then David gives us the answer in verse 17; "I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of The Lord forever!"

What does It mean to offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving? I think it means to thank Him when it's a sacrifice, when it's hard, when I don't feel like praising Him because I'm hurting and would rather do and feel anything else. Look at a few verses that use the same term, "sacrifice of thanksgiving (praise)".

Hebrews 13:15 (ESV)

"Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name......(instead of rehearsing the problem)"

Psalm 107:22(ESV)

 "And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!"

There are tons more verses in the Bible that use this term!  I feel like it's one of those mysteries The Lord reveals to His children as we lean in and desire to grow up into Him. (Ephesians 4:15). Then I remember Romans 12 about offering my whole self as a living breathing sacrifice to The Lord. Oh my, what God could do with my life if I offer Him all of me and at all times!

Romans 12:1 (ESV)

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." I am thinking that "presenting my body" to God, includes my mouth...what I say, and my mind..."think on these things"(Phil 4:8).

There are two voices inside me, the Holy Spirit and my own. Who do I want to listen to? He is teaching me to hear His voice over my own, over my pain, my issues and the noise they create in my head.  I would prefer to follow His voice and leading than my own finite understanding. Jesus gave me the Holy Spirit because He knew I needed Him to live victoriously.

John 14 (MSG)-The Spirit of Truth

“I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can’t take him in because it doesn’t have eyes to see him, doesn’t know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!" 

ESV 16 "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever"

With all of this in mind, Why not practice offering Him a sacrifice of praise right now? We did this together in Bible Study on Monday night and Tuesday. I think it was a transformational moment for many of us.  Pull out your journal and turn on your favorite worship song and just write out your heart on the pages.

1. Tell Him your stuff ...your hard stuff and how it leaves you feeling
2. Ask Him for help and guidance, for His perspective on your difficulty 
3. Now practice finding something you can offer, the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving for while in the midst of your trouble....the gift. One of a thousand!

Keely

"AND BEHOLD, IN HER MOUTH WAS A FRESHLY PLUCKED OLIVE LEAF"

After watching session #1 of 1000 Gifts small group study, I was left with some of my own questions....Do I look right past the gift, the beauty ....and start reaching? Just like Adam and Eve looked right past the beauty of the garden.....reaching for the apple?  Am I really so different from old Adam and Eve?  Why do I love the garden after I've been kicked out of it? 

Why do I wonder why I didn't try harder, love more, say (or not say) the needed words until after the relationship is broken? 

I want to get on the front side of this thing called life and beauty and grace and joy.

God’s Word teaches me just how to do just that by learning how to walk in the Spirit! And this book we are studying, "1000 Gifts" is going to be a big help to me in this endeavor.

My son Gabe happened to call me Sunday night and ask me if he could pray over me. "Uh Yeah!!"  In his prayer he mentioned that I was the Lord;s dove. Weird huh? But my mind immediately went to Noah's dove in Genesis. So the next morning I went straight Genesis 8 and read that part involving the dove. 

At the end of forty days Noah opened the window of the ark that he had made and sent forth a raven. It went to and fro until the waters were dried up from the earth. Then he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters had subsided from the face of the ground. But the dove found no place to set her foot, and she returned to him to the ark, for the waters were still on the face of the whole earth. So he put out his hand and took her and brought her into the ark with him. He waited another seven days, and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark.  And the dove came back to him in the evening, and behold, in her mouth was a freshly plucked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the waters had subsided from the earth.

I thought to myself, "Lord I can imagine the thrill on Noah's face as the dove flew back with hope, peace, and a chance for a new start. The storm is over. We can go back out and try again at this life thing!"

The bible refers to this actual dove in scripture as a "she"!  For me, personally, after Gabe’s prayer for me, the fact that the dove was a she was pure delight!! 

This she dove brings proof (the olive leaf) and the good news of new life after devastation. This thought brought that beautiful scripture to mind from Isaiah 61:4 (ESV)

" They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations;
They shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations."

 I'm here to tell you there is new life after a flood.  There is hope after your life has been devastated. There is a place of peace after the horrible storm that pretty much drowned out all your dreams. Here is an olive branch from The Lord. There is a hope that does not disappoint. And that hope has a name.....Jesus.Rom 5:5 tells us;

"And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." 

Let Your peace Lord, replace the striving and the disharmony in our lives...simply naturally hopefully just as sweet and as natural as the dove carrying an olive leaf to Noah.  Step by step. 

Let us choose to be like the little child Jesus talks about in Matthew 18:2

"And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

 And remember last week’s sweet verse. Psalm 131:2 

"But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content."

 Let's get rid of the cynical adult. The voice of the cynic says, "Been there done that" but the heart of a child wants to believe and trust and run to Him. 

Well I'm just "childlike" and filled with enough faith to believe and trust that He brings new life and new hope when I choose to turn to Him and put my trust in Him. I believe God has been preparing my heart to bring this message to you and to bring to you this olive branch of hope.  Someone reading these words right now needs this oh so badly!  He is coming with a promise of new life if we will trust Him and make Him the center, the Lord of our lives. I believe we can do life with a fresh newness....throwing out the discontent that permeates our attitudes and inviting in a new way, the way of graceful and joy-filled thanksgiving offered up to The Lord. I must remember that at times this is an effort, a sacrifice.

Psalm 50:23

"But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me...." 

Here is the key to pushing forward...it lies in my choosing. We like Noah have to be willing to open a window. Genesis 8:6.

"After forty days Noah opened a window he had made in the ark" 

 My heart is just like that window and I can choose whether or not to open it up to The Lord. I often remind my young teen girls in our afternoon Bible study, we get to choose. I have them repeat it after me quite regularly. God loves me but I get to choose. Have you been closed up for a long time? Will you soften your heart and open a window for the Holy Spirit to come and bring you hope....perhaps a new way of living, with Jesus as the center of your life?

Maybe you've made Jesus your Savior for eternal life with Him, but you have never given Him Lordship of your life on earth as it is in heaven?

PRAYER

AH LORD GOD I THANK YOU

FOR HOPE THAT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.... JESUS

I NEED AN OLIVE BRANCH TODAY, HOPE...ITS A GIFT FROM YOU

AND I RECEIVE IT LIKE A LITTLE CHILD.

FORGIVE MY CYNICAL SIDE

YOU PROMISE THE OLD PASSES AWAY AND ALL THINGS BECOME NEW WHEN I

CHOOSE YOU

AMEN

Contentment

Psalm 131:2
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

Feel the peace inside after reading that verse.....
Contentment comes as I choose to trust, choose to quiet myself...

God just keeps offering me new opportunities to draw close to him no matter how I have lived...this group is just another one of those.

John 15:5-8
The Message (MSG)
5-8 “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

Choosing to look to Him and not to others for my hearts needs brings peace. I love to remember "peace pushes everything else off the table and sets a place for joy".
He gives me his peace. Not peace like the world gives. No one can restore my heart or secure my position like He does. Whenever I look for this in anything or anyone but him, I leave disappointed, discouraged, discontent......

Contentment immediately changes my vision. When I'm content I can see the gift and the blessing. I can give Him thanks and truly praise. When I'm discontent I see nothing but the lack, the missing. Like Adam and Eve...where are you holding out on me God?  I don't trust your hand or your heart towards me. I need to reach...get what I need for myself.

Can we start down the path of contentment together?
Let's repeat that opening verse together and make it a prayer in our  hearts to God.

Psalm 131:2
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

Feel His Peace?

Ready....set GO!

We had an inspiring night Monday as the Leader Chics shared what was on their heart.  Powerful!  A big thank you for all the yummy salads and appetizers too.

Don't forget that we dive into the study this upcoming Monday/Tuesday. We will give out books and pick our groups.

We have a couple new ideas to implement as well. When you bring your friend we will make sure you don't get split up. Also, we will be discussing the short video and looking up the coordinating Bible verses together in our small groups. Any take home study is to enrich your private time between you and God.

If you have felt discouraged or discontent this week, this study is for you....really truly!!!

Looking forward to diving in
Love
Keely

I am excited to share with you the short spring study for 2014! I really want you to know that as I've been on this path to learning how to live in The Unforced Rhythms of Grace, God has brought along a few books that have literally changed how I operate daily on a very deep level. This book is one of those. I realized through this book that there is so much beauty and so many everyday gifts I just don't see. I'm not blind, I'm just blinded by my life circumstances and the moods they can bring along with them. Blah...discontent...frustrated...bored...insecure....fed up....  I was missing the GIFT of right now. Maybe you have been too? We were meant for more and I have discovered that I can have that "more" here and now as I let my vision be shifted to really truly see.

I am thrilled to have discovered there is a study guide and DVDs! Come and join us as we learn a new way together. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." 

Watch the Trailer for 1000 Gifts

Isaiah 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Ezekiel 36:26I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Join us evenings on Mondays starting 4/29/14  6:30-8:30 pm

Weatherly Inn

6016 North Highlands Pkwy

Tacoma, WA  98406

Or come mornings starting Tuesday 4/30/2014 9:30-11:30 a.m.

Dave and Connie Resinger's Home

8812 52 Ave Ct W

University Place, WA 98467

Join us for the inspirational dinner night at the Weatherly Inn this upcoming Monday!! 

Don't Miss out on God's Healing and Hope Today

While praying for my bible study sistas, I was asking God, "What can I do to create a safer atmosphere, a loving, safe place and what can I do better.. ..different? How can encourage them more in their faith? Right after praying this prayer I went to where I left off in my own personal Bible reading, Exodus 6. Look what I found!

Exodus 6:6-7,9

New Living Translation (NLT)

 “Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment.  I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery." 

Other translations read:

Esv  "broken spirit and harsh slavery"
MSG "beaten down in spirit"
KJV “anguish of spirit, and for cruel bondage."

Then it dawned on me.

WE CANNOT RECEIVE WHEN WE ARE IN A PLACE OF DEEP DISCOURAGEMENT OR IN BONDAGE OF SOME SORT! 

This truth in scripture led me to share with my sistas on Monday night, "please don't let your life circumstances and pain keep you from hearing the Word of The Lord tonight!"

A great man in the Bible also almost missed out on the healing hope and help that God had for him, personally, because of his life situation and his intense feelings of humiliation. We learn of him in the Old Testament but Jesus also mentions him in the New Testament. This man was Naaman, the great Syrian General for King Aram.

2 Kings 5:5

Now Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded, because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram. He was a valiant soldier, but he had leprosy.

Naaman was a national hero who enjoyed fame and success....but he was a leper. This meant he couldn't really enjoy his life, his family or anything else. Leprosy was a very isolating disease that created a situation of loneliness without human contact for the leper. They had to call out "unclean unclean" wherever they went. No one could come close enough to even touch them for fear of contracting the disease themselves. Leprosy also signifies in scripture the sinful condition before washing in the Word and the grace of salvation. The enemy of our souls tries to isolate us and cut us off right in our place of pain. God wants to heal us and set us free from our malady.

THE ENEMY OF OUR SOULS WILL ISOLATE US RIGHT IN THE VERY PLACE OF OUR PAIN. GOD WANTS TO HEAL US AND SET US FREE TO ENJOY COMMUNITY.

The story continues with a servant girl, who had been captured and brought from Israel to serve Naaman’s wife, telling them of the prophet of God in Israel. She convinced Mrs. Naaman to have her husband go to Israel and see this famous man of God. Naaman goes to the king of Aram and the king immediately responds and sends him with a personal royal letter and an entourage of officials and gifts for the prophet. The story then takes us to Israel where Naaman finally arrives at the prophet Elisha's residence. But much to Naamans chagrin, Elisha sends his servant out to tell Naaman to go wash in the Jordan river seven times. This response from the man of God just fries Naaman’s bacon because he thought he would get special attention due to his notoriety and social status. Naaman starts to leave the vicinity, but his officials talk him into going back and doing as Elisha told him. This is almost too much for Naaman because he also feels the Jordan River is dirty and beneath him. He even goes into a tirade about how he couldn't believe the prophet chose the Jordan River when all these other rivers are so much more suitable. (After a bit of research I found out the Jordan is the lowest body of water in the world at 1300 ft. below sea level.) Naaman washes seven times in obedience to the prophet and gets healed of leprosy! He rejoices greatly and in the process renounces his false gods and decide to serve the one true God of Abraham.

I love that God healed him before he believed! He just had to be willing to invite God into his pain and seek out help from the prophet while humbling himself. He had to be willing to put away his pride enough to do as he was instructed. He had to believe this miracle of cleansing was at least possible, to step outside his own comfort zone, or should we say, step below his perceived dignity and status and humble himself.

In studying this story it also occurred to me that Jesus Himself went into the Jordan and sought out the prophet of his day and was baptized! Wow! Our savior humbled Himself and was immersed in the Jordan River! What love, what humility, to follow His Fathers plan and willingly humble himself as a man and then go even further! Just like we have been studying in Hebrews, Jesus is our high priest who understands our weaknesses and humbled himself even to the death on the cross.

God has a plan and if Naaman doesn't get on board he will miss out. Just like us. God says He has a plan for me of hope and good and a future (Jer 29:11) and I need to do whatever he asks of me to walk in that plan. ...uncomfortable? Probably.

Just like with Peter when Jesus wanted to wash his feet. Jesus said if I don't wash you, you can have no part of me. Just like with John, even though he felt unworthy to carry Jesus sandal, Jesus required John to baptize him according to the Fathers plan.

We must get over our sense of unworthiness as we discussed last week. And, we must get over our sense of pride as we see Naaman doing. I must not question my need to be washed in the Word and washed in the Blood of Jesus to accept this grace. Notice with me how human nature is either pushed to one extreme or the other. We either refuse to be washed by Jesus because we feel unworthy. Or, we refuse to go down to the river and wash seven times because it is beneath us and dirty and humiliating. Which is it for you and I? Are we feeling unworthy because of our past sin and shame. Or are we feeling unwilling because we don't want to be humbled and admit our need publicly? Naaman had to wash in the dirty Jordan in front of everyone. And, he had to do it seven times! Am I willing to go ask for prayer? Am I willing to walk to the altar in front of everyone and admit my neediness publicly? No, God doesn't want to shame us, he wants to heal us and set us free and answer our deepest prayer. 

Sometimes The Lord wants to partner with me to do something that I feel is above me (unworthy) and sometimes He wants to partner w me in something I feel is beneath me (pride). 

"Oh Abba keep me from either extreme, I pray!" 

Could it be that the answer or solution or miracle for every one of us is through one of these doors? The door of unworthiness and insecurity or the door of pride and that's beneath me, or embarrassing? Could it be that our answer to prayer is just on the other side of one of these three responses?

 1) The person who may not have even thought to invite Jesus into the pain.Like Naaman initially didn't even know there was a God who was powerful enough to heal him until his servant girl told him.

2) The person who has invited Jesus in but is unwilling to do as He has instructed. Like Naaman upon hearing the instructions immediately dismissed them because they felt too hard, too humiliating. 

3) The person who has invited Jesus into the problem, who has even obeyed His instructions, but is struggling with perseverance.

Naaman was asked to wash more than once or twice. He was instructed to keep at it and wash seven  times. Persevere in obedience. …John and the baptism of Jesus….. Jesus wanting to wash Peter’s feet…. Naaman and his unwillingness, as a national hero, to go down to the dirty Jordan….The Israelites and their inability to hear Moses' message to them about hope and freedom because of their broken hearts. Today we need to step out like the Israelites did when they crossed the Jordan. Today is our crossing and our washing in the Jordan. In the water of the Word. The Word who became flesh and dwelt among us! The Word who has all the answers to life! The Word who says He carries healing in His wings.

Step out in prayer.

Step out in humility to obey.

Step out in perseverance to keep pushing forward in faith. 

Prayer

Oh Jesus don't let me cower from your miracles because of unworthy and insecure feelings! And at the same time please don't let me miss your freedom and breakthrough because I'm prideful and I won't walk to the water and be washed. Where are you trying to wash me and I'm resisting? Make me willing, I pray against my stubborn resistance. Where do you want to upgrade me and I'm resisting because I do not feel worthy? Help me to get past myself and recognize that You alone make me worthy.  Open my eyes to false humility and false pride! Both extremes keep me from being washed in your presence and in the upgrade. You have for me here on earth as it is in heaven. Amen

Let me leave you with one parting thought:

We have a Savior who was willing to get dirty, to go "wash in the dirty Jordan" and he even spoke out about the incident with Naaman in Luke 4: 27. And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed—only Naaman the Syrian.

Lord you are clearly saying that more healing and hope was available to others plagued with leprosy. Many more could have been healed and walked out of their isolation and pain if they had only been willing to come, wash and be clean.

We come to you Lord Jesus! Wash my feet my hands and my head. I have nothing to lose but pride and everything to gain!! 

Truth Bows Down to Unconditional Love and Grace

While sitting and journaling in my quiet place this morning, I got this overwhelming impression   from The Lord, "Tell them how much I love them, tonight”!  Immediate emotion surfaced in my heart.  I thought, "I can't Lord!" That is such a huge subject and I don't even hardly get the unconditional love thing for myself!!  What if I screw it up? Who am I to tell them?"  So I prayed right then and there.  "I'm Yours Lord and you love me just because you love me, because you love me, because you love me." 

So I guess I'll start right where He has shown me His unconditional love just this very week. He revealed something about His love that I'd never seen before. I had a big "aha" moment while I was in the depths of feeling bad about myself Thursday early morning.

I woke up on that particular morning feeling really bad about myself. In my tired and self-centered mood the evening before, I had hurt my husband's feelings. I justified myself by thinking, "Well, what I said. It’s the truth". I took my miserable self before The Lord in my quiet time and told him how sorry I was and how bad I felt. I even wrote a heartfelt apology email to Miguel. But, I was going into sort of a spiral of feeling poorly about myself until The Lord brought to my mind 

Romans 8:1 

 "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." 

Now...no condemnation. Yep that's it, I was feeling totally condemned. So I spoke the verse out loud to myself all alone in the house and just laid my head back and let it sink in. It's for me ...it's for now!  It's for this immediate failing. I instantly felt comforted. God loves me and will help me and forgives me and washes me clean. He will always redeem my poor choices if I bring them to Him. You're probably thinking well, selfishness...come on, Keely.  So let's up the anty...for the sake of this teaching. What if I'd committed adultery that night and I'd already had 5 husbands and was living with the 6th. What if I'd sacrificed my firstborn to a god like Molech, or rather in our culture ...aborted my baby last night at the local clinic?  Would I still be able to lay back my head in repentance and say the same thing? I'm forgiven and God loves me and there is now...no condemnation?  Yes, a resounding Yes, Yes, Yes!  His love is unconditional and his forgiveness is irrevocable and his grace covers all my sin. Not just the more “acceptable” sins we can discuss in Bible Study.

Stay with me here....back to my head back and knowing I'm His….Right after speaking that verse out loud, something came up in my heart about the whole thing with Miguel. Remember when I shared how I'd justified myself the night before? “The words spoken were the truth”, I thought.

Why is it I think I have to be totally "honest" about my feelings with Miguel? Is it that sometimes that brand of "truth" is just a selfishness that is insensitive and uncaring and wants relief?  Then it hit me. Truth submits to the higher authority. Truth is not the highest ground....love is!   Love takes precedence over truth. "And the greatest of these is LOVE."  Love must lead my mouth and love must guide the "truth" I speak.

ALL TRUTH BOWS TO LOVE, GODS LOVE:

If it's God’s truth it will submit to God’s love. I feel like sometimes I lift truth up to a place that is even higher ground than God’s unconditional love and rule of kindness   I often let truth lead the way. 

TRUTH MUST BE PUT THROUGH THE FILTER OF GOD'S LOVE:

Love is first. Love is always out front, in the lead.  I must remember this in all my relationships and in all my dealings with others. 

GODS LOVE NEVER CALLS ME OUT. HE CALLS ME UP:

Lord you always speak the truth to me in love. God never shames me and calls me out. He loves me unconditionally and calls me up higher and closer to Himself to a place where He can love me even more.  "Lord, let me take on that quality. I pray that kindness and gentleness would always be on my tongue.” This reminds me of the proverbs chapter on the Godly woman.

Proverbs 31:26
"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." 

Philippians 4:5 (NIV)
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." 

My honesty should never diminish another...ever.  I don't have to say everything I think or feel, even if it's coming on strong and all up in my grill. My job and my character is to say the honest thing that will uplift another and call my loved ones to a higher place.  Speak the whole truth in love.

Eph 4:15-16 MSG

"God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love." 

I've been on such a quest for truth that I've put it up higher than love at times.  In writing this I realize that God’s Grace is higher than truth too. This is where the unconditional love part comes in to fight for me and love me regardless of my condition.  As Christ's disciples we are taught by the word that we have 3 enemies. These 3 enemies of our souls; the world, the flesh, and the devil need to be addressed where this unconditional love and truth piece is concerned.

The World Is the Enemy:

The world has a system of "do good, get good, do bad, get bad."  The world will tell me I'm just not enough or I'm too much to ever possibly do anything for God!  After all, I don't have this and I haven't done that.  No formal education, money, position, status etc. It's all true.  But I read in God’ s word that He equips me and that He make me competent to do His work and that He gives me the mind of Christ. I also read that He calls the foolish of this world to confound the wise and He calls things that are not as though they were. (Heb 13:21,  2 Cor 3:5, 1 Cor 2:16,1 Cor 1:27, Romans 4:17).The world’s truth about me fades in the light of God’s truth and unconditional love.

The flesh-my humanity, my mind will and emotions are the enemy:

 I know the truth about my past behavior and sinful choices.  I have bad motives sometimes and hurtful thoughts and selfishness and pride and and and.  So here's the deal as I'm seeing it.  God loves me with unconditional love and that trumps all. The truth is I don't deserve it. The truth is that I should have to make up for my sins and pay back what I owe. The truth is that I haven't done anything big and awesome to be deserving of His love, or to be used by Him ..(.like say Mother Theresa or Heidi Baker). But again, here is Gods truth:

Romans 8:31-39: God's Everlasting Love 

" What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect?It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? …. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

BAM...TAKE THAT TO THE TRUTH BANK!

The devil- who is a liar and the father of lies is the enemy:

He is also happy to throw truth in my face.  Truth that hasn't gone through the filter of God’s Love and Grace for me is damaging. Satan will lie to me about my worth and value and try to use the "truth" of my actions and sins to diminish me and keep me down. He will use lies and will mix them up with the "truth" of who and what I am in light of my sin and short comings. The enemy will use lies and truths to condemn me and keep me from allowing God to love on me like He wants to. Satan’s goal is to keep me from my purpose in Christ, to convince me that it's too late for me or...I missed it.....I blew it. These are all lies from the pit of hell! As long as there is breath in my body, I can turn my heart toward The Lord and live in His plan for me.  I can be forgiven, redeemed, justified and made new.

My personal journal entry:  Lord, I've prayed with so many women lately that are trying to earn your favor. We throw around the word grace so much and yet don't really stop to think about what it really means. Even your death and resurrection can turn into me trying to earn it by giving up something. For me in this very moment grace is you saying that I'm of much more value to you than my message or the word I bring to bible study. This is grace. You love me more than my ability to perform or earn.  I guess I don't really truly understand this love that you want to give me. The people I love most on this earth still require things from me that I feel I need to give them. You require nothing but my willingness to come to you. To lay down my efforts and ask you to forgive me and fill me with your love.

Truth must bow to love…. And the greatest of these is love! His love, not my piddley ability to love! His love that says "Come to Me if your heavily laden or weighed down with sin."  His love that says He will tenderly takes my hands that are gripped ever so tightly. 

“You can't fix it Keely, but I can. Will you let go? Will you walk with me through this and work with Me and watch How I do it? Will you stop forcing your way because it seems best to you and let me teach you my unforced rhythms of grace for this situation, for this relationship?  If you will just let me have it and trust me you will learn how to take a real rest...like bone deep. A rest for your soul." 

God, I don't get this kind of love yet, but I'm learning. I'm listening. It's hard sometimes because the culture is really loud in my head about my "doing".

Ending Journal Entry: 

What If tonight we all walked out of here with just one slightly different piece of unconditional love that we'd never seen before? What if we all realized God wants to be something or someone to us now that we've never allowed Him to be, or imagined He could be? 

Prayer

Lord you know how much we need your love. You know how we throw truth around like a knife. Forgive us and wash our hearts clean of pride and selfishness. Fill us with your supernatural love. A Love that can love the unlovely or forgive the unforgivable.

Thank you and praise you Abba, for your unconditional love!

Amen