As I
was reading Ann Voskamp's book 1000 gifts, I came across something she wrote on
page 54 that literally stopped me in my faith tracks.
"I forget Eden and
naming and nails, and it all seems just a bit....juvenile.
Contrived."
She
was talking about the feelings of foolishness and juvenile-ness that come up in
the middle of this experiment of counting to 1000 gifts, this practice of
Eucharisteo.
I
think, "yes, I have experienced this voice of ...almost shaming."
Then I realize, when I'm following The Lord, stepping out in literally anything
new, the adult, the reasonable voice comes into my heart and mind. It says,
"Stop this foolishness, stop this crazy childlike behavior, this
vulnerability....ahhhh there it is ....vulnerable. None
of us like to feel vulnerable, exposed. but isn't that the essence of being
childlike?
It's
true, there is a vulnerable aspect to this faith walk. Jesus says to
believe without seeing. It feels like a game of blindfold sometimes. He said
this to Thomas, the doubter and to Keely, the reticent, blessed are you who
believe even though you haven't seen me. (John 20:29)
I am
suddenly feeling like The Lord is pulling back the veil for me on another of
His kingdom secrets and it leaves me feeling so excited. I even find part of
this mystery in my very favorite chunk of scripture. Yes, you guessed it
Matthew 11. Woo Hoo! (Look to the left of the margin and to the title of this
blog). Just three verses prior is this fabulous find! It's sub heading is
"Jesus'
prayer of Thanksgiving" (wouldn't that be classified as Eucharisteo?)
Matthew
11:25"At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and
clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you
to do it this way!"
As I
walk in childlike vulnerability, I'm feeling myself become more filled with
faith and more courage to step out. But, as far as this vulnerable faith
walk, I'm thinking, "Lord, how far do you want me to take this attitude?
In what areas of my life would you like me to apply this?"
I
feel the Holy Spirit instantly whisper into my heart, "Your love walk."
How
do I break that concept down in the areas that are right where I live
every day?
FORGIVE FASTER AND WITHOUT STIPULATIONS AND LOVE QUICKER WITHOUT RESERVATION
The
"adult voice says, I will forgive, but I cannot forget. I'm
thinking, "Lord if I forgive, they'll just do it again!" Jesus
responds instantly with an affirmative. Yes they will do it again and probably
70 times 7 more times. (Matt 18:22) . My
forgiveness does not hinge on the security of knowing they will not ever offend
again. It depends solely on the unconditional love and complete forgiveness
Jesus offers me every moment of every day. Over and over, again and again with
abandon and with love. Unreal! Crazy! Childlike?
Forgiving
and loving like this are both perfect examples of me letting go of self
protection and choosing to trust God with my well being.
Just
like I'm practicing Eucharisteo, I am practicing love and forgiveness...Jesus
style.
Along
with this choice to step out in faith and follow Jesus like a child in the
areas of the heart, comes right on the heels of this decision the voice of
cynicism. For example, in the area of relationships, if I'm hurt it's just
plain easier to stay out of the sandbox, to isolate and keep a measured
distance, whereas a child jumps back in and asks the next kid to be his
friend.
Adult
Cynicism vs. Childlike vulnerability. Self protection vs. trust in God
Look
at these concepts...which ones bring joy, delight? God tells me that in
Him I find joy and that if I delight in Him, He will give me the desires
of my heart. (Psalm 37:4) These are promises for all of His children!
It's like a double positive! I let God love me with abandon and enjoy Him and I
get to be even more blessed with everything I truly desire!
I
want to live my life differently in light of this truth. Instead of measuring
everything...what time is it, how long do I have, what have I accomplished
today, how much will it cost, how many calories have I eaten, what's my budget.
...Jesus says to live in the "unforced rhythms of grace"and not get
all worked up about time and productivity, not to worry about the things that
unbelievers chaff over.
Matt
6:31-33
"So don’t worry about these things,
saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your
heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek
the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give
you everything you need.
I
might even err on the side of loving too much, on the side of forgiving too
often and too easily. I might laugh too loud or cry too hard or waste time just
to listen to and be closer to another. I might just end up believing Him
to the point of childlike faith and vulnerability and maybe even looking
foolish....or being part of a miracle.
Again
I'm reminded that the Kingdom ways are so opposite of the ways of this
world.
The
way to climb up the ladder in the Kingdom with Jesus, is to get lower and
serve.
Matthew
23:11-12The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself
will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted
The
way to mature in the Spirit is to become more humble like a child.
Matt 18:4
So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the
Kingdom of Heaven.
I
can risk it all when I know how loved I am. He is so very lavish with me! If He
does take something away He will care for it or them until this time of living
on this earth (the classroom) is over. It's so short and so
temporary. Gods got me, I need not fear or self protect or make for
myself.
My
personal prayer:
I
love you Abba. It's another uncovered mystery! It's an olive branch of hope and
it leads to excitement and joy and more love and more forgiveness and more
delight! I love you as you explode into my heart with your truths! Thank
you for giving me another olive branch to fly back to the ark with! To my
bible study sistas who, like me, need encouragement and a new hope.
Your
prayer and reflection questions for the week:
1) Where
is God asking your heart to step out in Him, to follow Him in childlike
abandon, but you just feel like it would leave you too vulnerable?
2)Ask Him to transform you and to grow your trust in
Him.
3) Find the gift in the possibility...write it/them
I love you
Keely